This poem is approved by peta and the animal humane association
And no moose were harmed in the writing and hopefully in the public reading of this poem
Poetry Jam Aspen April 13 2016
Wildlife workshop Prompt
Rocky Mountain Moose Medicine
Heyo Human Family
Moose here, snacking on grass and pansies over in this field –
Can you –
see me?
Well guess what,
I don’t give a fuuuu-ndacious hoot!
I’m sorry,
I beg your pardon,
I don’t mean to be harmfully abrupt or civilly uncouth
Perhaps it’s due to this extraordinary excess of testosterone pollution
that we male moose swagger in,
That might prohibit the growth of more,
Cerebral evolutions
I mean Geez haven’t you not noticed, Look at the size,- of my rack!!
Hell – we still charge and fight like fools over a woman,
And You- know despite the fact, those ever advanced emotionally spiritual lumens
and compassionate beings them moose gals claim
I think they still secretly like our chingaso- vato head butting games.
Now be completely assured
I didn’t say we was stupid
I feel certain that well give you one a hell of schooling
In the wisdom of living out loud
and looking proudly and unapologetically foolish
so come on now, ask your friend their to put down that rifle
there are plenty of other things out here to eat without acting
homicidal
If you’d like, Ill show you
I heartily recommend those little purple shrooms
tucked under Neath those nettles
They seem to help folks resume their eagerness
To be reasonable and listen, look inward and get settled
Now Therefore –
We Moose !
Or is it meese, or moosses or. Oh whatever, anyway
Now back to this originating idea of “I don’t care if you see me notion”
Where this loosely framed moose anecdote propelled into motion
One might assume this attitude
That’s not meant to alarm
but
That there is obviously no shortage
to my quite sizeable form
And if I feel slightly more than mildly threatened
My mooosely adrenaline is famous for its immediate escalation
In the blink of a second
I’m prone to deal out a charging that’ll knock most on their rump
And might actually, quite accidently,
Send a feller home with a rather sizable goose bump
But Wait, – I don’t like to condone that image of fierceness
That’s not really us, or our natural state of moose being-ness
I mean, Look at me
Creator made me look, like a gosh darn cartoon
With a disproportionate head to face ratio,
that protrudes like a side show balloon
Seriously folks, When Mickey, or Donald or Bugs bunny
Get done with their work and step off the TV
Everyone coos, “ahhh look at the cute Ducky, or Bunny or furry Mouss-ey
But that’s not the case for ole Bullwinkle here, Nope, no siree
Kids cant tell the difference when they take a long gander at me.
The animated nose, the lips, the big goofy grin
I believe that in a likeness contest I would most certainly win
The stoner, Big Lebowski of the forest award
Which actually,
I would highly agree in accord
It essentially might explain the increased moose sightings
Here in good old Colora-dope
Yep,
Best gange in the world by our observational scope (sorry Canada eh)
Hey, Wait
Not so fast you comical
Attention deficit suffering humanoid creature
We are here to share our
Moose ANIMAL Medicine,
not be another weed endorsing cannabis preacher
Although,
We’d like to mildly dispute
The recent excessive amounts of reefer growing
in our favorite napping and meditative hiking routes
The medicine of our moose presence,
The thing we hold dear
Is To help and support you in surrendering
And shedding self doubt and fear
Like I said earlier, maybe even possibly twice
We don’t care if you see us, and yet again,
I digress
Here is the medicine we wish to impart
We moose absolutely love who we are, so take a good stare
And trying that on is what we moose,
for you people,
is our deepest animal prayer
We are unshakably certain of who and why we exist
And live comfortably In our hoofs, or,
Whatever these things are at the bottom of these silly leg sticks
Hey, get a load of these knees
How do they actually support me, reminds me of the lopsided physics of the wings of a bumblebee
And frankly, they look funny as sheee – t
-Sheets, in the mud
So laugh all you want
We moose love it ,
as joy and smiling is in our life’s blood
It brings us great elation, To see you so cheerful
Imagine if you allowed yourself that gift
In almost every experience, without being fearful
Almost, – I mean, this is life,
There are always thorns in them sweet berries
der, circle of strife!
Speaking of which, MAN Did I ever catch the biggest briar thorn
In my tush when I was.. uum
Happy,-
Comfortable in my skin
Willing to pull on a big Wilbur-ry grin
When the summer rains pour down
Or the winter snows set in
This is the Moose gift of our goofy, yet regal presence to you
Be happy with,
and for, exactly
What you are compelled to be most true
You are only ever imperfect
When you needlessly yourself to others compare
When you try to define yourself thru the movies
Of someone else’s share
Or Their looks, their money, or textbook symmetrical features
You’ll only find the kind of pain, suffering and heartache
Not meant for any of us sentient creatures
Your unique physical differences and various perspectives and truths
Are needed, are imperative and do triumphantly decorate this dear mother earth
Don’t perceive yourself so extremely
Take time to enjoy the flower filled pastures of your presence,
And, do it routinely
Wade in the laughing internal rivers and comical gifts of yourself
Let the rains of self judgment
Glide effortlessly off your back
And like us moose,
or damn it, is it meeses?
Enjoy yourself for exactly who you are
Because you’re allowed
And don’t ever need any reasons
To be faithfully you in all you’re humanly awkward
Rough edges
And eccentric moose like dorky pieces
For whatever you have become,
Whatever path you have heeded
Moose says there is room for you,
You are appreciated
And vitally needed.
Aho Heblaska